Take a look at that face. Are you sick of it yet? I know I am - in every newspaper, on the television and all over the internet, Susan Boyle's visage has become the most ubiquitous picture of the year so far.
Now before a horde of angry net dwellers start flaming me with hate filled messages, allow me to clarify something: I have nothing against Susan Boyle herself; she's a perfectly competent singer, and deserves to make some cash from her warbling - others have made millions with less talent, after all.
What irritates me about the past week's Boylemania is the absurd reaction of the media. 'She's plain - and yet she excels at something!' the editors of Britain's Got Talent appeared to say. The ridiculous notion that only those gifted with youth, beauty and perfect teeth are good at anything has been preached by programme makers for so long that they've clearly taken it as gospel truth - hence the gaping faces of Britain's Got Talent Judges (who are, ironically, three of the least talented human beings in the whole country) when Ms Boyle opened her mouth to sing.
Irritation number two: whether she makes any money or not, Susan Boyle is almost certainly doomed to a Jade Goody-esque life of media subservience; one can imagine the glee the producers of BGT felt when she turned up for her audition. The salt-and-pepper hair, the plain features, the Last of the Summer Wine wardrobe - almost too good to be true. Even the name is perfect - like a skin complaint or an old-fashioned sweet that nobody eats anymore. Boyle's explosive popularity on the internet means she's now a commodity; media types and publicists love simple working-class folk, who they can lead around by the nose and photograph, gossip about, prod and cajole.
No wonder she's been 'advised' to retain her dowdy image - it's now part of the brand.
And this really is the saddest part of the Boyle phenomenon: whether her fame lasts for years - as was the case with Jade Goody, who lived and died under studio lights - or fizzles out in a few months, like Mo from Driving School, that bloke from Airport or any one of a thousand reality television-created celebrities, Susan Boyle has become another money-making tool to be exploited by the greedy and manipulative.
arctictern
The woollen dress, Brian Clough eyebrows and a couldn't care less attitude. Good luck to her. As a soon to be unemployed steelworker, if somebody wants to exploit me for a few quid for a while, until I get on my feet again, go ahead. I may be strong enough to stand up to the likes of Cowell though, she might not.